A word of caution

If you're ever out biking; Never, ever, ever go up a road that has the word "Ledges" in it's name.

Unfair advertising

Why is it that my "not cleaning the house" gets top billing in very large letters on the marquee, but when I do clean, I'm not even mentioned?

Tofu and my preconception

You know, I’ve actually never had TOFU, so it might be good…but I doubt it.

Tall Chicks

I’ve always thought that anything over six feet tall is a waste, so that’s really why I decided to stop growing once I reached 5' 10"

My fiance' is a few inches taller than me, but I'm ok with it because I'm a confident guy.

Plus, there's nothing I can do about it AND she's pretty hot.

She's also a bit younger than me, which again, is kinda cool.

The only thing that’s going to suck is when I’m older and I start shrinking. We’re gonna look ridiculous with her towering over my wrinkled, imploding body.

My only hope is that she gets a nasty case of scoliosis. You know… curvature of the spine where old ladies hunch over?

That way, even though she’ll technically be taller than me, nobody will really notice.

Unless they lay her on her stomach and jump on her back to straighten her out.

Even then, I certainly wouldn’t lay down next to her so they could measure.