Phone calls you'll never hear...

"Hello. Thank you for calling the Jehovah's Witnesses. How can I help you?"

"Oh thank god you answered. I wasn't home this afternoon and I'm afraid I missed your visit. Could you send someone over right away? I have a lot of questions."

More moneymaking ideas...

How about this?


You know when you fill out a form and it asks for an emergency contact?


I'm going to start selling raffles and the winner gets to be that contact.

Ten years from now if something happens to me and they get a call, they'll remember "Oh Yea, I won that raffle that time. Boy, that Mike sure was a fun guy."

Plus, I'll do that for every new form I fill out so that everyone gets a chance. One raffle per form. One winner per raffle. One contact assignment per winner.

It can stand alone...

It seems to me that Coffeemate could ditch coffee and go out on it's own and still stand proud.

My cat and I

Many, many times throughout the day, if I am home, I look at my cat who is staring at me, and say "How did you get here?"

"What has transpired in my life that somehow allowed you to be here staring at me as if I am the outsider?"

"WHAT! ANSWER ME, DAMN YOU!"

My cat doesn't blink much.