A Note From My Cat...

My kitten likes to plant himself on my laptop, whether I'm there or not. I mean my computer, not the upper thigh area that's created when I sit.

I think he's learned how to use it because I found this note in an email window that he opened- By accident according to him.

Dear Mom (and Sister, Sister, Brother, Brother, Brother, Sister),

Meow,

Things have been going great since leaving the animal shelter. I'm sorry you couldn't come, but I did try to persuade the the humans that bought me to go back and get you all.

But, as has happened with most things that I try to tell them, they just thought I had gas and rubbed my tummy. Mmmm....tummy rubs.

It's a pretty nice place with lots of windows. Most of my day is taken up by spending a little time in each of them. It's so warm and outside there are lots of other humans and other things that the girl human call "birds". These birds sit in something called a tree.

And the birds mock me. Oh how they mock me.

Someday, I will teach them that I am not to be mocked.

Hold on a second, I'll be right back...

Sorry. There was a bottle cap on the floor that needed to be knocked around for minute. Then I got distracted by that shoelace that they left around for me to play with.

They treat me like a kid.

The girl human has nice long hair. I like to suck on it as if I'm feeding on your teets, Mom. No milk yet though.

The man human has nice tasting skin. I bite it a lot. Sometimes I lick it and then bite it. He seems to like it, but he tastes salty. I don't think he drinks enough water.

The funny part is the man human's skin is different that the girl's skin. It has fur on it. I also think that he's old too.

I figure that I'm about 12 weeks old, so they're at LEAST 30 weeks old, give or take a couple of days.

Check this out. They have this thing here. It's the craziest thing you've ever thought of. It's scary as hell, yet I'm intrigued by it.

The humans take of their fur and get under this thing that has water coming out of it. I think that they actually get under it ON PURPOSE!!

As far as I can tell, it's a demon that they trapped behind the wall and force it to spray water from its nose, which is the only thing that comes through the wall.

Can you believe that? Brrrr...the thought of it gives me the willies.

I've snuck into the demon's lair while the humans were there, but humans ordered the demon to attack me. I barely made it out alive.

The girl human must have been mad, because she tried to smother me with a towel. It did get the demon juice off though.

Anyway, I should go. I haven't slept for like 8 minutes or something like that. Plus, the humans should be walking in any minute now.

Who knows where they go every day. They leave every morning and later in the day, the man human comes home and goes into the cold closet in the kitchen and gets something.

Whatever it is, he drinks it and gets really funny.

Then the girl human yells at him for doing it every night. That only lasts a few minutes, because the man human peels of his fur and shows the girl something. Then they go into the room where the soft floor that's up high is.

I can't go in until the girl opens the door. I think they wrestle or something since her fur is off everytime too.

Anyway, I"ll talk to you later. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume that nobody bought you and you've all been put to sleep because the girl human refused to take you all.

Meow,
Conway.