Michael Phelps is an egomaniac

I once won 37 gold medals at the Olympics. You know why nobody knows?

I didn't make that big of a deal about it.

Little Yippee dogs.

I hate them. Yip, Yip, Yip. Bark, bark, bark. Piss, piss, piss.

What are they good for?

My friend has one dog that barks constantly. The other one stands on his hind legs and scratches your leg until it's raw.

If I ever have a pile of stuff that needs to be scratched and barked at, I'll bring it over. Until then, I have no use for those dogs, except for comic material and punting practice.

Why Bother?

Seven Layer Dips?

Seven Layers?

Call me when you get to 10 layers.

I don't get out of bed for less than 8.