While out pursuing one of my lesser hobbies, novelty t-shirts, I came across one that would revolutionize my dating technique.
It was a simple shirt that read like this:
Female Body Inspector
Can you imagine the chicks I could pick up with this shirt?
Here's the way I assume the interaction would go. First, a distraught gal would come up to report some sort of crime. Naturally, she would think I was the fuzz due to the shirt.

When she got close enough to see the small type, she would laugh and laugh.
"My goodness", she would say, " Isn't that clever."
We chuckle a bit and then I'd take her to the real police. There was a crime after all.
Then perhaps we'd have a light lunch and a drink, followed by a blossoming relationship.
Wont that be dreamy?