When I was younger, I thought the Dukes of Hazzard was an awesome show. And it was, I think. It taught me that when I jump my car over a ramp and the front end bends like a pretzel, that I should just keep driving and it will fix itself.

There are also several reasons why I want to live in Hazzard County

• Every bush or shrub has a ramp next to it.
• If you commit a crime and the cops are chasing you, all you have to do is lose them and you're off the hook. If I was the cops, I would have just gone to the Duke's farm and waited for them to come back. I never got why they didn't do that. Probably not as exciting.

I said several, but I keep forgetting them. I'll add some more when I go out drinking next.