I got an invitation for a friend's graduation party today.
It said "Regrets Only"
"OK" , I thought. So I responded thusly,

Dear Meredith,
I regret:

• Not buying Wal-mart or Microsoft stocks way back when
• Not acquiring more property ten years ago.
• Letting my cat out that time. She got hit by a car.
• Turning down a chance to get in on the ground floor of a coffee shop. What the hell is a Starbuck anyway? Wasn't he on Battlestar Galactica?
• Plastics. That's all I'm going to say.

I'm still going to the party, but I don't know what she needs my regrets for. Does the person with the most win a prize. Let's hope so. Maybe that person gets more booze.