Hold on everybody! Time for a new segment on Random Thoughts!!!

"Old-time sayings closely examined"

This segment was going to be called, "English Idioms Rebuked", but to be honest, I had to look up both Idiom and Rebuke to make sure it made sense. Just to be thorough, I looked up English as well.

I was correct but since there are few people with my grammatical prowess, I had to dumb it down a bit. Otherwise people would get angry and not read.

"Stupid Mike on his high horse; English Idiots Re-puking? What the hell is he talking about?" So there you have it. On with the show.

• A Penny saved is a Penny earned- Not at today's interest rates. That would be 100% return on investment. My bank barely gives me 3% on a CD. Why? Because if they gave me a penny for every penny I saved, they would be out of business, that's why.
• A Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush- I don't know why, but this saying makes me think of sex.
• Don't look a gift horse in the mouth-Did people actually give horses as gifts at some time? If I did get a horse and it was almost dead, I'd certainly look it in the mouth. It's the same as giving me moldy muffins or cake. Now I have to throw it out instead of the gift giver. Not so bad if its delicious pastry, but I don't know where to dispose of a horse. Keep it.
• Curiosity Killed the Cat- Not my cat. She was definitely curious to see what was outside, so curiosity may have helped in my cat's death, but it didn't actually kill her. I'm pretty sure it was the right front tire of the car that finally did her in. Curiosity was simply an accessory.
• Go to Hell in a hand-basket- ??????????
• Let sleeping dogs lie-I guess the thing here is that if you wake up a dog and he starts talking at all, you should be pretty amazed. If he's lying, get over it. He's probably still groggy. I would just call Fox News and get someone with a camera over there as fast as you can.
• The apple doesn't fall far from the tree- Probably very true. Unless it's during a hurricane.