Against all rational thinking and advice, I've adopted a couple of skunks. And get this...I didn't pay a cent for them. They've been living under my deck for awhile so I just made it official.

Now, I don't let them come inside at all, because that would be crazy. Even if they didn't mean to, I'm sure they'd spray accidentally. I know this because the same thing happens to me with flatulence.

So I keep them outside under the porch. They come out to play once in a while, usually when nobody is home and the yard light is off. I think they play a game called "Here Kitty Kitty, let's see who's the tough guy now!"

I'll catch them in my headlights when I return from wherever I was, which was probably some very important meeting with the head of something.

I'm usually greeted by a rear end with a tail in the air, which I assume is the skunk equivalent of "Hello, there! It sure is nice to see you!"

Tonight they were in the yard, so I went inside and yelled to Linda "Come out and see the skunks. They're asking about you!"

She said " Nooooooo!", which I assume is the Linda equivalent of "You're an idiot and I'm not bathing you in tomato juice when you get sprayed!"

So it's me, Linda and my pet skunks. They'll be pets right up until I get sprayed. After that, they'll be the "damn things what drank all that antifreeze that day".